I had a Frustrating week as a Mother. I had preschool at my house two days this week for 2hrs each day with a total of 10 kids if you count mine. Sydney would not listen to me or cooperate during this time and fought over toys with kids and even hit one of them. She also had a fit in Dairy Queen and screamed and flipped food all over.....I think on accident. I told her if we got in the car right now I would get her another ice cream cone. She quickly abliged and then I high tailed it oughta there. WHITE LIE but it worked and she knew why I did it too. So by Thursday after preschool was over and the last child left, I locked myself in the bathroom and had a good cry. Sydney was outside the door yelling at me the whole time about what a Family means because I told her she had made me very sad. She has been crying over every thing the last few weeks and I am exhausted. I think part of it is hopefully a stage and part of it is the weather and she is bored being cooped up so much. So I am sick of threatening things, sticker charts were a joke, timeouts she screams the whole time and I try not to spank. Hmmmm I am out of ideas.
I really need to go to the temple and just feel my Heavenly Fathers love for me and know that he understands and will help both me and my children be happier. Motherhood is the hardest job ever. I respect my own mother so much. I know I could never do this job without the gospel.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
I need suggestions on discipline and motherly support!
Posted by Heather K at 8:55 PM
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13 comments:
Hmmmmm sounds like my Thursday.... I am so feeling it too! I called Brad bawling telling him that I couldn't do it. I was so upset. I was done..... and just when I thought it was over Morg crawled into bed with me that night and asked me if she could say prayers and talk to her Heavenly Father..... WHAT???? I learned something this week....I have never felt my Heavenly Father around me until this week. It was a crazy experience. I know that he is there for me. Hang in there!!! You are an amazing mother! Remember it's "your" challenge at this point in time! Everything will be ok!!!
I am so sorry you had a rough week! Hopefully it is just a little phase she is going through and it will end soon. I've been having a rough time of it too...breastfeeding is PAINFUL! Sorry I don't have any good advice since I'm new to being a mommy. However, I am learning very quickly that although motherhood is the "most rewarding job on Earth" it is NOT at all easy. Thank goodness for supportive husbands, family, and friends. And thank goodness for those days where (mostly) everything runs smoothly...
Oh Heather, I FEEL your pain! I too am hoping it is just a stage. Kanyon is right up there with Syd. I too feel like I have tried everything and timeout goes just like you said, with Kanyon screaming the entire time. Maybe it will help to know you are not alone! :) One thing that we have tried for only one week that seems to be working so far is instead of rewarding good we are "showing him the bad" We have a chart for the week on his door in his room. It goes unnoticed most of the time until he "doesn't listen" Then he gets an "X" on his chart. Something about putting an "X" on his pretty chart makes him realize that he did something wrong. The last couple of days, if he is misbehaving, I just have to say "you'll have to put an X on your chart" and his behavior turns around. The only reward we are giving him is that if he has no X's on his chart for the day, he gets to have two bedtimes stories instead of one. Something so simple but story time is probably his favorite time of the day (I think because it's 1:1) So nothing is taken away but he gets an extra something if he does good. It has worked for a week. And he was SO PROUD of himself the first day that he didn't have x's. It did take a few days to get there though! I don't know how long it will work -- I'll let you know! Sorry this is so long! I am thinkin' of ya!
Hmmm...poor girl! I know that can get very frustrating. I'm not sure what to tell ya. I'll probably havet that kinda girl in a few years. Good luck! Let me take the girls for a bit so you can relax and have time to yourself!
Hey Heather, I haven't done much with this, but I've heard a lot of people love it and have had great success with it. And that is using the book, "Parenting with Love and Logic". You might want to check it out. Good luck.
Sorry that things didn't go very well at the mall! Good luck, friend!!!
I am sooo seconding the Parenting with Love and Logic. It puts sooo much responsiblity on the children and THEIR choices and THEIR consequences for their choices. It is awesome. I have done this and it gets some taking used to. I think it goes along with Heavenly Father's Plan. He allows us to choose, and allow the natural consequences of that decsion follow. They have the book at the library. Here are some websites about it.
http://schooleffectivelyathome.blogspot.com/ This might be a school at home sight. But it talks a lot about love and logic.
http://www.loveandlogic.com/
THis is the site from the people that actually write the book. You can listen to his weekly radio show and order books. I like the Early childhood one. It works well with toddlers and preschoolers.
I hope everything goes better. I will watch your kids if you wanted to go to the temple! Just tell me when your appt. is.
You poor girl! I can def. relate with this! Hailey has been driving us crazy lately. We think it's the new baby and that she is just lashing out for some attention..(fingers crossed). Every Mom has one of those days where they want to pull their hair out and scream at everyone within a ten foot radius (hi..that's ME!). The good news...hopefully someday she will have a kid just like her and humbly apologize for being so hard on you. Your a sweet mommy and i HAVE no idea how you handle kids and work. YOU AMAZE ME!
i love your lil monsters. :)
I hate to tell ya' but it will probably only get worse. My almost 8-yr old and just turned 6-yr old are constantly making me pull my hair out. And they are so different so it is doubly hard because you have to figure out which discipline works for which child. But just know you are normal and are not the only one out there with the problem. You helped me feel better knowing that I am not the only one. And what was I thinking having a set of girls twins 5 years younger than my 2nd? (like I had sooo much to do with that) I get to do it all over again once I figure the older two out. Arggghh!
hello my dear friend I too can sympaathize and relate to your frustrations. I am in now way an expert but I too agree with Love and Logic. I am always reminding Pete to give the girls multiple choice options that THEY choose and you as the parent can live with. And sometimes when where in the store and NAUGHTY the options are...#1 YOU CAN HAVE A SPANK NOW #2 YOU CAN HAVE A SPANK WHEN WE GET HOME OR #3 YOU CAN HAVE NONE!!!! Your Choice!
HA Ha HA I really have only used that line once or so.
THe other big thing to remember is to follow through with promises and consequences. Because as soon as they think your weak your done!
Be strong sister and hang in there!
love ya!
I came acroos your blog from Ashley Flakes. I think our parents are cousins. Anyways, I think all of us are in the same boat when it comes to these little munchins. I just ended an at home preschool group.I had the same issue. My son spent half of preschool in his room! For me, it wasn't worth the battle and all of the stress. It sounds like your prescool group is too big. Have you thought about putting it into two groups or having two moms. One mom does the lesson and one is the helper. It is normal when you are the teacher for your child to act out. THere is a lot of info on line to help with that. Like, having your child pick which toys should be played with at preschool and having them help prepare the lesson or snack. It might help if she is your "special helper" and feels more involved.
My only other thought is that you can never use an empty threat. They will know you don't mean business. Only us a threat if you are willing and able to follow through with it.
Good luck- Sorry it was such a long post from someone you don't really know!
THANKS EVERYONE! It was a much better week. We had a good family night and made rules with consequences on the fridge and so I am consistent. I am also changes my work schedule around a little and this will hopefully help too. I appreciate everyone's comments! MOTHERHOOD is never easy but I wouldn't trade it for anything!
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